Thoughts in my head

Hi Baby Boy, I can't stop thinking about you being in the hospital, all hooked up to the machines between Orillia and Toronto. I'm so sory I wasn't able to tell you what was hapening. I wonder if the doctors talked to you at all, if when you opened your eyes you were afraid, if you wondered where I was, why I wasn't with you. I should have said and done so many things, I'm sure you know that I tried, I did the best I could given all the medication I was on too. I know daddy told you why I wasn't with you in Toronto, and I know nurse Sandy and Allison took good care, and loved you for me. I just want to scream and I feel sick when I think of all the tubes on you. Did your hand hurt? I hope where ever you are, you don't hurt at all. I'm so sory for everything that happend Jack. I wish I could have made everything turn out differently. I wish I could make you be here with us. If nothing else, at least what I could do was let you go in peace, and I did that.
Love Moma