Empty

Hi Bud

Dad here

Today as you see your Mom and I were cleaning up the house, it really needed a good cleanng, it looks alot better. As you already seen your Mom put away the clothes we had for you that were hanging in the armoire. That was a really hard thing for her to do, and it was equally hard for me to watch, but she did leave you JC/DC outfit hanging up in there for you :)
Your room just feels so empty and cold, I really wish you could have came home and had seen it in person, I know you would have loved it. It's been raing all day today, your Momma went down to Toronto late this afternoon to see your cousins Nolan and Aiden, she was pretty excited, I decided to just stay home and finish up and relax, I had a pretty rough week at work.
I was just looking at some pics of you after you were born here in Orillia, I loved the one picture because you looked so much like a little boy in it.I'm putting that picture in this post, I just want everyone to see how good looking my son was.


Some days I just can't believe that your not here, I know your not but I just think mabey it's all a dream and I'll wake up and we will all be a happy family like everyone else has.

Take care Jack

Love you Dad

Spring Cleaning

Good Morning Baby Boy,
Daddy and I sat outside having coffee and tea, and talking about doing a good cleaning of the appartment this weekend. Its long overdue. We talked about putting some of your clothes and toys away. There are a few outfits that were yours baby boy, that we will keep in your memory box, but if its ok, a lot of the clothes we will save for when you have a baby brother or sister. My heart hurts. I know that by putting things away, it will be even more real, that you can never be here with us the way you were supposed to be, and I don't want to admit it. I want to be 2 and close my eyes and pretend its not real. But I know it is, and I have your little sleeper night gown with the train engine on it. That was going to be the outfit you wore for Grandpa W. the first time they came over to see you. And your outfit from Auntie Sarah, with the stars and bears, and matching hat. You were going to wear that home from the hospital. I hope where ever you are now, you're smiling and watching the butterflys fly around. I'll think of you when I see glow flies, I'm sure you'll be flying right beside me as I chase and try to catch them. (Yes I'm 30, and still chase glow flies... I'm your Momma, you'd be with me wouldn't you)
Anyway, You know that no matter what we put away, we will never put away our love for you. You are my Mr. Twinkle Toes, always dancing in my heart. I love you to the moon and back.
Love Momma

Momma's on a mission

Hi Baby Boy,
Maybe it was the thunderstorm today that gave me the kick I need... I know now what everyone's been telling me for a while. It's more than just Ok to get healthier and stronger again. So, you my baby boy are going to see your Momma on a mission, and Daddy would say to watch out... There's no stopping me when I make up my mind and my heart.
I am going to walk every day, and exercise properly, eat healthily included. No excuses anymore Ok?! I am going to be strong enough to run the 5 k. for our support group in September. That is my mission, my goal, for me and you
I love you baby boy.
Momma

Dandylion fluffies

Hi My Baby Boy,
Do you feel it too? Since your Daddy and I released some of your ashes, I feel more free. I think that is your spirit flying around me saying Thank You. Now I feel like you are enjoying the outdoors, and feel the healing powers of Nature. Everytime I am outside now I can feel you when I look at the trees and flowers. Thank you to your Daddy, for knowing me, and the perfect time and place for you... I love you to the moon and back Mr. Twinkle Toes. I always miss you, but feel closer to you now.
Love Momma