Thank you

Dear Baby Boy, I've been so sad this week thinking about Mother's Day, and wondering what kind of Momma I am now... but tonight I want to Thank You for the wonderful thunder storm, I'm sure it was from you. You're just like your Daddy, always a day early because you can't wait to give a present. I was so proud and happy when pregnant, and on Feb. 21 I was given the greatest honour and privelage anyone could have. I was given the gift of you, and being your Momma. I whish you could have stayed longer, I miss you so much, but I thank you Mr. Twinkle Toes, every second we had was worth it. I now know in my heart and soul what love means, feels like, and looks like. Love is you.
Love Momma

Happy Mother's Day

Hey Buddy

This post is for your Momma than you, but I know you will agree it has to be said. Hi Baby Girl, I know this is a couple of days early but I think you need to hear this now. You are and always will be the greatest Mom that ever walked the face of this earth. The way you carried yourself when you had Jack inside of you, with pride and love, I have never seen a woman look so beautiful before, I can still remember the day when we saw the first ultrasound of Jack (When he was called Appleseed) and we just hugged each other so hard and cried and we were so happy. And remember the day when we found out we were having a boy? these are the memories I have when I think about you as a Mom. I know our baby boy looks at you everyday and says Thanks for being such a good Mom and I look at you everyday and I also think Thanks for being the best Mom in the whole wide world . I know not everything I say or do can take the pain away, but I hope these few simple words help just a little bit.

Happy Mothers Day Baby Girl

Love your Husband Joe and your little boy Jackson(Jack)

Happy Mother's Day

Hi Baby Boy, I'm having a lot of trouble getting to sleep tonight. I miss you so much, my stomach hurts again, and I'm thinking about how this is supposed to be my first Mother's Day... But what kind of day can I have when I don't know what kind of Mother I am without you here. I'll put it out there and maybe you can give me a sign, or someone reading this can give me some advice... I just don't know what to do... all I know is that I love you to the moon and back
Love me,
your Momma

Love

Good Morning Mr. Twinkle Toes
Did you see Daddy and I looking at the star last night? It was so pretty shining bright, and Daddy is sure it is you. Its been pretty rough around here, but I know you can see Daddy and I taking turns holding onto eachother. I sure do love your Daddy. He is so strong and brave, and loves me and you more than anything. He is my heart and soul
I love you Baby Boy
Love Momma

Morning Glory

Hi Baby Boy, Did you see me outside planting the flowers today? It felt good to be digging in the dirt and planting the seeds. But then I got really sad and so angry that you wern't here, and I felt like I didn't have any right to enjoy planting and growning anything since I couldn't help you grow. So I broke down and had myself a good 'ol red headed freak out and (I hope by now you're used to the red head temper thing) now I feel better. Auntie Sarah had a beautiful idea... what I planted could represent your spirit, and through gardening I can nurture and grow your spirit, I can talk to and love the flowers growing. And even if only one weed pops up, while, it would be that much more funny since I tend to like the wild flower, weed look anyway. And the neighbours already think I'm crazy, so what the heck. Here's to you my Baby Boy. I love you.
Love Momma

Up and down kinda Day

Hey Buddy

Dad here, I've been havin' kinda a Up and Down kinda day. I saw a lady this morning with a baby that would be the same age as you and it got me thinking, i'm not really the sun loving person, I usually like the dark days , but I got thinking about how sunny today was and how much fun your momma and I would have had taking you out for walks in your cool stroller and having people look at you and say how cute you are (You took after your Momma). I felt sad and kinda mad that all you got to see was the inside of the hospitals, you never even got to see the sunshine. Everything I have read and what people have said, they say that your Momma and I will go through phases like these , where we will feel O.K. then we will feel sad or mad. I guess i'm just mad at all of these people who have babies, sometimes 2 or 3 and I just wonder why we can't have just 1 (That's you), it's not fair.
Well Dad was up late last night so I'm gonna start to wind down and get some sleep soon.
Love ya Buddy

Dad

Feeling Better

Good Morning Baby Boy, How are you out there? I hope you are enjoying such a nice spring morning. The sun is shining, birds are singing... I could be a grump and hide under the covers, but I beat myself up enough yesterday didn't I, today I'll give myself a break and try to be more patient with myself. Today makes me think of a saying I came across "weeping may go on all night, but joy comes with the morning" It is very true today. I'm exhausted, but can see the joy having had you in my arms brought me, and it was worth everything Mr. Twinkle Toes.
Today I'm so thankfull for your Daddy, and for people we've never met, yet whom take the time to leave such kind, supportive words, during our good days, and not so good days, I hope you know who you are :)
I love you to the moon and back Baby Boy
Love Momma

Home sweet home

Hi Baby Boy, I've typed I don't know how many letters and deleted them, not sure how to say anything or what to say... everything feels empty today, anything I say, anything I do feels half assed (ear muffs mr.) I'm really upset, maybe angry, confused, sad... Home sweet home... I'm not sure why people come over, they always feel sad when they do. You should be here to make them smile, and now its just me, and I guess I'm not feeling like I'm enough of anything right now. I'm so sorry, I wish I'd feel better so I could make you proud of me. I sure do love you mr. twinkle toes
Love Momma