It just happened

Hey Buddy
How are you doin' tonight? I just wanted to say that your Mom and I did everything possible to make sure you were taken care of when you were in your Mom's belly. We ate the right foods, didn't smoke, made sure your Mom didn't lift anything heavey, I don't know what happened, it just happened. Your Mom really wants to blame herself, and I get upset when she does because she was the best Mom anyone could have asked for, she loved you so much, we both told you we loved you everyday that you were with us (You heard us right?). If you could just let your Mom know somehow that it wasn't her fault and that she's a good Mom you would be helping your old Dad out, thanks.
I went out and bought us a new toy, a new 19" LCD monitor, so your pics that I took of you look even better, and the video looks so much cleaner. You would love it. I talked to your Uncle Tom (You remember your Uncle Tom don't ya?, he came to visit you in the hospital in Toronto and gave you the blue hat and boots that you wore), I also talked to your cousin Stew and your cousin Ethan.
Have a good night buddy and keep warm
Love your Dad

Thoughts in my head

Hi Baby Boy, I can't stop thinking about you being in the hospital, all hooked up to the machines between Orillia and Toronto. I'm so sory I wasn't able to tell you what was hapening. I wonder if the doctors talked to you at all, if when you opened your eyes you were afraid, if you wondered where I was, why I wasn't with you. I should have said and done so many things, I'm sure you know that I tried, I did the best I could given all the medication I was on too. I know daddy told you why I wasn't with you in Toronto, and I know nurse Sandy and Allison took good care, and loved you for me. I just want to scream and I feel sick when I think of all the tubes on you. Did your hand hurt? I hope where ever you are, you don't hurt at all. I'm so sory for everything that happend Jack. I wish I could have made everything turn out differently. I wish I could make you be here with us. If nothing else, at least what I could do was let you go in peace, and I did that.
Love Moma

Where you are

Good Morning Baby Boy,
I've been having a lot of trouble at nights. I can't get to sleep. I wonder about where you are, like your daddy, I wonder if you are warm, if there is someone holding you, if its dark, if you're afraid. My heart tells me though, that where you are is beautiful and magical. Warm and peacefull, and what ever you want it to be. I just wish I could see you there, see what its like, make sure your Ok. I want you to know that I wish with all my heart I could have you with us, for your daddy. He takes care of me, but I hope I am doing enough for him too. I love you so much, my heart won't ever stop hurting.
Love Moma

Your Mom was busy

Hey Buddy

How was your day? Mine was not all that great. I went to work this morning, but I only lasted until noon, then I came home. I just couldn't stop thinking about you and wondering if you were warm and were you are and if someone was taking good care of you. I felt better once I got home and was with your Mom. Your mom was busy, she was putting the finishing touches on the scrapbook that she started when you were in her belly, it looks beautiful, it's got pictures of all of us in it, i'll get your Mom to leave it out on your dresser so if you want you can have a look at it. I think tommorow will be a better day at work, I just think today was bad because it was 1 month since you left us. Everyone says hi, we got another card in the mail today, it said that a donation was made in your name to the Hospital for Sick Children, that made your Mom and I really proud.
I just wish you were here with us:( Have a good night Buddy
Love your Dad

Are you warm?

Morning Buddy

I can't believe that it's been a whole month today since you left the physical world. Just wanting to ask you, are you warm? is there someone takin' good care of you? I'm pretty sure there is. I know your Great Grandpa Chet is up there showing you the ropes:) that makes me feel better. I'm sorry for crying but I really hurt inside and I just don't know what to do. I have to go to work today. I wish I didn't but I do. Mabey I'll yell at a few grumpy customers just for you, O.K.?
I know with time things will get easier, but right now this whole thing just really sucks.
Love ya Bud, have a good day

Love your Dad

Prince

Hi Baby Boy
Daddy went out and got the new Prince c.d this morning. How fitting that today is the day it came out, your due date Mr. Twinkle Toes.
I'm not sure how I feel, but I went into your room for a minute and did a little dance, just for you. I smiled through my tears remembering feeling you in my belly, dancing with me to Prince. We can't listen to Prince and not do a little dance!
I love you Mr. Twinkle Toes, I hope you can hear Prince to, and are dancing where ever you are.
Love, Moma

Your gonna help people Buddy

Hey there Buddy

Dad here

It's late and I should be in bed but I wanted to tell you something. Your Mom and I had a email from the nice lady from The Hospital for Sick Children, her name is Lori. She said after reading this website with all of the things that your mom and I having been saying to you, she wanted to know if we would share all of our letter's to you with other people, we said yes (I didn't think you would mind). I think that it might make other people feel a bit better. Even though I would give anything in this world or the next to have you here with your Mom and me, just knowing that you are helping other people makes me the proudest father in the entire universe.
Thank Buddy

Love your Dad

Dreaming

Good Morning Mr. Twinkle Toes
I want to be so happy today, thinking of all the people who get to see our letters to you. And Sandy, your nurse, is going to read all these too! but I'm so confused today. My stomache still hurts, and I just want to scream. Tomorrow is your due date. By all accounts, I should still have you in my belly. I want to wake up. But I've already had you, and you had to move on, I am awake. It's not fair. Do you wish you were still with us? Were you disapointed in me, when I said that it was Ok for you to go when you were ready? Maybe I should have held on tighter. I know thats not how it works. I know we did the right thing by letting you go in peace. It hurts so much Jack. You are my Baby Boy. I love you. I want you with me and Daddy. I miss you.
Love Moma