Smile

Hi Mr. Twinkle Toes
I hope you're not too sad for Daddy and I. Its been a rough couple of days... doctors wern't kidding when they said things would seem to get better, then you're hit with a couple of bad days. We just miss you so much, and don't know what to do. I know you would love your Daddy's paintings ~ I think you were just like him, you left me a beautiful painting on my belly~ I love you with all my heart and soul baby boy, to the moon and back, is also how much I love your daddy.
love Moma

What a Dreary Day

Hi Buddy

Well it's a pretty dreary day out there, it's usually the kind of day that I like, but today I guess I would have liked some sunshine. I got up early and got a coffee and drove around looking for a few garage sales but my heart just wasn't in it. Sounds silly but before you were born I had all these plans that saturday mornings we would leave your Momma sleeping and you and I would head out and hit all the sales and stop at timmies and get you some Tim-Bits to munch on. As I drove around I realized that was never gonna happen and it made me sad. Your Momma going through a rough patch right now. Her body is returning back to it's normal self and she's sad about that, I try my best to cheer her up and make her smile, but sometimes there's really nothing anyone can do to make a person feel better (I know all about that). I just sent her to lay down and get some sleep (She didn't sllep very well last night) so mabey she will feel a bit better later.
When we went out today I bought a Canvas to paint on, I haven't painted anything in a long time and you know what, mabey that will make me feel a bit better. I hope you like what I do.
Well, don't forget your dad loves ya Buddy

Dad

Love

Hi Mr. Twinkle Toes, I know you're looking down on us today (and everyday) You know how much I love your Daddy, and how proud of him I am. He takes such good care of me, and works so hard. I wish he would give himself a break, but he won't rest will he ? I'll just bet that you're wishing you could be here with us too... please send your Daddy a wink, let him know you're Ok, and we'll wish on a star for you tonight. I love you to the moon and back Baby Boy.
Love Momma

I was all ready Buddy

Hi Jack

Dad here. I just keep thinking I was all ready to be a Dad, I was all ready for the responsibility that goes along with it. I couldn't wait to look after you and your Mom, now I just feel like givin' up sometimes, your Mom's sad, and i'm sad and i'm also trying to keep your Mom's spirits up, it's really hard. I don't think it would have been as hard if we didn't get to see you and touch you and hold you and talk to you, I would never take back the time we had together, but sometimes I feel that if we hadn't met it would have been easier (I hate myself for even saying that).
Sorry Buddy, I love you and your Momma so much, I know one day your Momma and I will give you a little brother or sister but you have to know that you are our first baby and we will never ever forget you Buddy.

Love

Dad

Opportunities

Good Morning Baby Boy
Today I'm excited, and I hope you are ok that Daddy and I have agreed that we want to share your pictures with Sick Kids hospital. There is a program for doctors, nurses and students studying families who have lost thier baby, and through volunteering our pictures of you to tell our story they will learn more personally what we go through. I was so mad when we couldn't donate your eyes. I wanted so much for another baby to get your eyes, so they can see everything I'd have wanted you to see in life. But we have other opportunities, and Daddy and I will use them all so your death won't have been for nothing. You matter so much in this world Jack, even if you arn't with us. I love you.
Love Moma

My star

Hi Baby Boy
I read this in the newsletter your daddy and I get, and it fits so close to my heart It helps when my stomach hurts because I miss you so much.

"Twinkle twinkle little star, we'll always know right where you are. You're in our souls, you're in our hearts, nothing could ever tear us appart. We'll look above each moonlit night, to see the glimmer of your shining light. Look down on us and feel our love, for you are our star above."

I love you Mr. Twinkle toes, to the moon and back
Love Moma

Proud

Hey Buddy

Just a quick note to tell you how proud I am of your Momma. She got on the tread mill today and walked for like 20 minutes and tonight after dinner we went out for a walk. I know she doesn't feel like getting better, but I know and she knows it's what you would want her to do.
Sorry today about seeing you old Dad sheading a few tears at work, it was just that little baby boy that I saw would have been about the same age as you, it made me a little sad.

Have a good night Jack

Love Dad

Back to myself

Hi Mr. Twinkle Toes. I'm putting this in writing for you, and everyone who reads this... I am determined to put one foot in frount of the other and start moving to get back into exercising and eating heatlthily. I'm not sure I know how to get myself back, or if I even want myself back without you, but I know for your Daddy I want to be healthy and feel better, and I hope that will make you smile too Baby Boy. I'm scared, my stomach hurts, but I want you to see me and smile, knowing that I'll be healthier and happier for your Daddy, and for my love for you.
I love you
Moma

I wish you could have been with us today Buddy

Hi there Buddy

As your Momma wrote, we went to Hamiliton today and visited your cousins Nolan and Aidan and Aunt Sarah and Uncle Albert. I really wish you could have been there with us today , I really missed you. Seeing your cousin Nolan playing and talking got me thinking about what you would have been like when you were his age, would you have looked like your cousins, what kinda words would have been coming out of your mouth, would you have liked to dance, things like that.
I'm tired Buddy and i'll talk to you later

Love


Dad